Monday, September 10, 2012

College Days

Back at school, and loving everyday of it. It's nice to be back to work and enjoying myself while I have tons of stuff to do. Seeing all my friends from all over the state makes the time pass faster than ever. It seems like I've been here for months, and it has only been a couple of weeks. Adjusting to the new room in the same dorm took less than a day.

I have two classes everyday, and the work is fairly easy, minus all the reading and writing (I'm a math major, I hate all this English type class work). I get done with classes fairly early everyday, and have plenty of time for myself and my work. For once I have been going to bed before midnight most nights, and am getting all the work done.

I will soon have an awesome set-up for my computer, with the monitors wall mounted on a rig that hangs from the underside of my lofted bed. I'm getting some stuff ready to ship out and surprise some people, and hope they love it.

I'm a little less tense this year too, and I joke with everyone and surprise them with my bit of humor. I have made my roommate jump a couple of times, and all I've done is take a nap in my bed. Ah the glorious sound of a yelp as it wakes me up from my sleep, to find my roommate saying he didn't realize I was in the room.

BEST SEMESTER EVER!

J. Curtis

Sunday, July 22, 2012

New Day

Sunday was a rather interesting day. July 3rd I passed my road test, so I now have my license. June 20th, I was hired to work at a Dunkin Donuts and have been enjoying the pay and hours.

So with that background information, I can continue with Sunday's events. The usual mass at 11 am was nothing special, but afterwards I met up with one of my best friend's girlfriend. It was a little odd, but at the same time we don't really know each other that well, so it gave us a chance to 'bond' for lack of a better word. Note that my friend and this girl have been together for two years.

Well long story short, she has a matchmaking concept about her, and really wants to find me the 'right girl' for me, and hook me up with someone. So Sunday was spent shopping at the local mall and picking out some new clothes, shoes, and accessories for my new wardrobe. This came down to a couple pairs of shoes, about six shirts, three pairs of shorts, a straw fedora, and a hair cut to top it all off. It all came out really nice, though my hair is shorter than I would like it right now, but what can you do. I've learned that arguing with a girl is beyond hope, unless you know the exact right way to say no.

The test run with everything went well (I changed into some of the new stuff, and we went to some other places) and I got several compliments. I got home, and ended up changing again for work. While there I got to work with a great person who closes the store with no problem, and no hassling from my end. We both work to get the store ready to close, and don't have to check on what the other is doing. At one point he had asked me if I wanted him to hook me up with one of the regular customers there. Not sure why he felt the need to ask that, but it's the thought that counts, I guess.

Chillen' out and having fun;

J. Curtis

Friday, July 13, 2012

Days Gone By

So I have been having a mildly good time this past week. From working myself to near death and getting paid, to having good times with friends. I have recently passed my road test and gotten my drivers license, and my job is at a small Dunkin Donuts/Convenience store that I can walk to in minutes. Last Thursday (7/5) I had one of my infamous game nights, and enjoyed just about all of it. I had some small down points, but it's something that I get every now and then since my 3 concussions. Monday I got together with a couple of friends in order to talk and catch up on life happenings.

Now we talked about some issues we were having, and what has been going well for us.Tuesday I had work in the early morning, and slept most of the rest of the day away. Same for Wednesday, but those two days didn't pass by without me setting up a meeting with a young lady I met through a friend.

Yesterday was the day that we set up the meet for. I got her from her place, and we went to Panara Bread and Barnes and Noble for nearly 4 hours. We talked, laughed, read manga, and had a great time with each other. Just before we headed back to drop her off at home, we went into Pier 1 Imports and found several things that we both would like to have... though very expensive. Also, they were hiring, and she has been looking for a job, so who knows.

She's a great person, and I would like to get to know her better, but I'm torn between whether it's right to do so right now. Time will tell, and I won't burn the bridge. We've learned about each other and it makes me enjoy her company that much more, yet I am cautious. Maybe it's time for me to throw caution to the wind, and just go for it.

Debating reason;

J. Curtis

Friday, July 6, 2012

Wandering Soul

I have become apparent to some of my flaws as of late. I'm a coward, and thus cannot truly say how I feel or what is on my mind. As such I can freely admit that I have the hardest time talking to people, especially women that I like and/or find attractive. There are a few that I can talk to easier than others, but they are few and far between. One of my close friends says that I need to be more forward and step out of my comfort zone. I have no problem with accepting that, except that my personality is to be a "people pleaser" and therefore focus on the needs and wants of others over my own.

My roommate once asked me why I never try to get with some of the ladies I talk to in Oswego. The reason is a simple one. Yes, they are attractive, but there is nothing that could keep us together other than an initial euphoria of the idea. Some may call it being "picky," but I consider it a practical reason. Would you buy a dog because you want one, but know that you cannot take care of it? No, you would let it go to a home that can provide for it. To me, the women that I talk to in Oswego, are people that I cannot provide for in the ways that they need to be cared for.

Maybe I'm just making excuses. I honestly don't know anymore. I feel lost, a shadow of my former self. Confused on who I am as a person, and what I am becoming. I'm scared of where I may end up after everything that has happened to me over the last few years. My focus shifts like the flipping of a coin, and I can never hold on to just one thought. A few days ago, one of my recent thoughts was concerning relationships for me, and how I feel about people. As a people pleaser, It would make sense for me to never commit to just one person since I care deeply for so many. Yet logically, I could feel this way because I don't have an outlet for my more romantic side.

On more than one occasion I have gotten fed up with the life I live, and the area I live in. As such, if I could, I would pick up everything I own and just leave. Cut ties with all my friends, and even my family, and just disappear to whose knows where, and start fresh and hope for a better outcome. But can one truly pull that off? We see it all the time in t.v. shows and movies, but is it possible in the real world?

Again I say, I feel lost. Joy for me has lost its lasting effects, and I find myself in a cycle of rage and sadness. Jealousy has consumed me more than I care to openly admit. Jealousy of the many in relationships and happy, and jealousy against the boyfriends of the ones that I care for. Though I can say this has been a learning experience for me, and something that I need to go through.

With that; Stay cool and hydrated this summer:

J. Curtis

Monday, June 11, 2012

Summer Blues

So this is my summer report:

I have been home from college for a little over 4 weeks. In that time I found out that I had failed two classes this last semester (therefore I am on academic warning), I am most likely going on a new medication, and have done very little at all. Now this is all rather disturbing to me, and have made me more aware of my mortality in general, and just how flawed one person can be.

My first weekend home was nothing too exciting. Just some lounging around the house, and a bike ride here or there. The following week was the same, and the weekend after that was spent in Rochester recording a music group at RIT. This comprised of me sitting around playing video games, and watch tv. The next week, I went to a cook out at a friends place, met some awesome people, and have kept in touch with a couple of them.

Memorial Day weekend arrived, and my mom went to my grandma's place for the weekend, and I stayed home and went to the Bazaar in my area. I met with my good friend and her boyfriend, enjoyed the time, and tried to just have fun and let what has been bugging me at bay. The next day I went to my grandma's place to spend time there since I hadn't seen her in several months (December-ish  :\).

I ended up going back out to RIT to see my brothers again, and help my oldest brother move to a new apartment. It was a good time, and I spent the following week out there helping arrange the new place, and spending time with my roommate. Now I'm back home, and back to the job hunting, the worrying about bills for college, and the new medication stuff. Sometimes I wish life were simple and care free...

Slowly going mad here : |

J. Curtis

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Summer Time

So now it's summer break for me. That means no more classes, and I'm back home until August. Earlier this week, I found out that I am on academic warning due to failing two of my classes for this past semester. Well, not really "failed" so much as semi-passed, but need to retake. Due to this set back, I am most likely going to be in college one semester longer than I had originally planned. Just wonderful...

But now that I'm home, I can relax and try to feel better. Though job hunting is not the greatest way to relax. I've applied at several local area businesses, and to no avail have I been hired. Within 24 hours of applying online, I was rejected with a "Thank you for applying, but as of right now we are looking for more qualified people." I can understand that completely, since I had absolutely no experience working in that line of work.

Yet, the one that gets me to laugh and wonder what has become of this nation/world as a whole:

I was applying at a local pizzeria, and had filled out an application to hand in. So I had walked in, and waited about 2 minutes before a worker was available to help me. I handed my application over, and he looked it over. He asked if I had ever done a service job before, and I replied not really. So then he asked if I have ever done deliveries. Now a little background information, I do not have my drivers license. So I told this to the worker, and he proceeded to ask my age, to which I replied in full. He smirked and replied snidely "You better get on that, then." In my family, I'm required to pay for the insurance once I get my license. When the worker heard this, he replied "Best find a way to get some money."

I don't know about you, but I believe that is rude and unprofessional. I'm looking for a job so that I can get my license. This worker didn't have the common sense to put two and two together, that's just sad.

So I've been home almost 2 weeks. I think it is about time I had one of my game nights with my good friends. The only thing is my basement is a mess. So now it's cleaning time!

Now I shall sign off with one of my favorite quotes;

"What's the point of being grown up, if you can't act childish sometimes?"

J. Curtis

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Mayhem!!

So now is the time that I really start to stress and become a "vampire" as it is appropriate. I see very little sun/daylight period, and when I do, it burns... Well not really "burns," but you get the idea. It is now the final stretch of the semester. One week of classes is left and then it is the dreaded finals week. Which means cramming for these monstrous tests. So I am now holed up in my room, catching up on the work I either neglected to do earlier or just need to do to finish the semester off.

So the final count of work (and I will update this in future posts if I find the time):
16 or so labs for one class
1 programming project
1 rough draft/final draft final paper
4 songs to memorize for a jury performance
plus any work I get in my classes that I still have left.

Lots of work, yet nothing I'm too worried about. I've been working quite a bit and getting paid. Dressing classy, and counting the days till I go home for the summer. Hopefully, by the end of the semester I will have my drivers license! Which means my roommate may teach me standard before we leave for the summer.

Keep Calm and Don't Blink

J. Curtis