College Days

Back at school, and loving everyday of it. It's nice to be back to work and enjoying myself while I have tons of stuff to do. Seeing all my friends from all over the state makes the time pass faster than ever. It seems like I've been here for months, and it has only been a couple of weeks. Adjusting to the new room in the same dorm took less than a day.

I have two classes everyday, and the work is fairly easy, minus all the reading and writing (I'm a math major, I hate all this English type class work). I get done with classes fairly early everyday, and have plenty of time for myself and my work. For once I have been going to bed before midnight most nights, and am getting all the work done.

I will soon have an awesome set-up for my computer, with the monitors wall mounted on a rig that hangs from the underside of my lofted bed. I'm getting some stuff ready to ship out and surprise some people, and hope they love it.

I'm a little less tense this year too, and I joke with everyone and surprise them with my bit of humor. I have made my roommate jump a couple of times, and all I've done is take a nap in my bed. Ah the glorious sound of a yelp as it wakes me up from my sleep, to find my roommate saying he didn't realize I was in the room.

BEST SEMESTER EVER!

J. Curtis

New Day

Sunday was a rather interesting day. July 3rd I passed my road test, so I now have my license. June 20th, I was hired to work at a Dunkin Donuts and have been enjoying the pay and hours.

So with that background information, I can continue with Sunday's events. The usual mass at 11 am was nothing special, but afterwards I met up with one of my best friend's girlfriend. It was a little odd, but at the same time we don't really know each other that well, so it gave us a chance to 'bond' for lack of a better word. Note that my friend and this girl have been together for two years.

Well long story short, she has a matchmaking concept about her, and really wants to find me the 'right girl' for me, and hook me up with someone. So Sunday was spent shopping at the local mall and picking out some new clothes, shoes, and accessories for my new wardrobe. This came down to a couple pairs of shoes, about six shirts, three pairs of shorts, a straw fedora, and a hair cut to top it all off. It all came out really nice, though my hair is shorter than I would like it right now, but what can you do. I've learned that arguing with a girl is beyond hope, unless you know the exact right way to say no.

The test run with everything went well (I changed into some of the new stuff, and we went to some other places) and I got several compliments. I got home, and ended up changing again for work. While there I got to work with a great person who closes the store with no problem, and no hassling from my end. We both work to get the store ready to close, and don't have to check on what the other is doing. At one point he had asked me if I wanted him to hook me up with one of the regular customers there. Not sure why he felt the need to ask that, but it's the thought that counts, I guess.

Chillen' out and having fun;

J. Curtis

Days Gone By

So I have been having a mildly good time this past week. From working myself to near death and getting paid, to having good times with friends. I have recently passed my road test and gotten my drivers license, and my job is at a small Dunkin Donuts/Convenience store that I can walk to in minutes. Last Thursday (7/5) I had one of my infamous game nights, and enjoyed just about all of it. I had some small down points, but it's something that I get every now and then since my 3 concussions. Monday I got together with a couple of friends in order to talk and catch up on life happenings.

Now we talked about some issues we were having, and what has been going well for us.Tuesday I had work in the early morning, and slept most of the rest of the day away. Same for Wednesday, but those two days didn't pass by without me setting up a meeting with a young lady I met through a friend.

Yesterday was the day that we set up the meet for. I got her from her place, and we went to Panara Bread and Barnes and Noble for nearly 4 hours. We talked, laughed, read manga, and had a great time with each other. Just before we headed back to drop her off at home, we went into Pier 1 Imports and found several things that we both would like to have... though very expensive. Also, they were hiring, and she has been looking for a job, so who knows.

She's a great person, and I would like to get to know her better, but I'm torn between whether it's right to do so right now. Time will tell, and I won't burn the bridge. We've learned about each other and it makes me enjoy her company that much more, yet I am cautious. Maybe it's time for me to throw caution to the wind, and just go for it.

Debating reason;

J. Curtis

Wandering Soul

I have become apparent to some of my flaws as of late. I'm a coward, and thus cannot truly say how I feel or what is on my mind. As such I can freely admit that I have the hardest time talking to people, especially women that I like and/or find attractive. There are a few that I can talk to easier than others, but they are few and far between. One of my close friends says that I need to be more forward and step out of my comfort zone. I have no problem with accepting that, except that my personality is to be a "people pleaser" and therefore focus on the needs and wants of others over my own.

My roommate once asked me why I never try to get with some of the ladies I talk to in Oswego. The reason is a simple one. Yes, they are attractive, but there is nothing that could keep us together other than an initial euphoria of the idea. Some may call it being "picky," but I consider it a practical reason. Would you buy a dog because you want one, but know that you cannot take care of it? No, you would let it go to a home that can provide for it. To me, the women that I talk to in Oswego, are people that I cannot provide for in the ways that they need to be cared for.

Maybe I'm just making excuses. I honestly don't know anymore. I feel lost, a shadow of my former self. Confused on who I am as a person, and what I am becoming. I'm scared of where I may end up after everything that has happened to me over the last few years. My focus shifts like the flipping of a coin, and I can never hold on to just one thought. A few days ago, one of my recent thoughts was concerning relationships for me, and how I feel about people. As a people pleaser, It would make sense for me to never commit to just one person since I care deeply for so many. Yet logically, I could feel this way because I don't have an outlet for my more romantic side.

On more than one occasion I have gotten fed up with the life I live, and the area I live in. As such, if I could, I would pick up everything I own and just leave. Cut ties with all my friends, and even my family, and just disappear to whose knows where, and start fresh and hope for a better outcome. But can one truly pull that off? We see it all the time in t.v. shows and movies, but is it possible in the real world?

Again I say, I feel lost. Joy for me has lost its lasting effects, and I find myself in a cycle of rage and sadness. Jealousy has consumed me more than I care to openly admit. Jealousy of the many in relationships and happy, and jealousy against the boyfriends of the ones that I care for. Though I can say this has been a learning experience for me, and something that I need to go through.

With that; Stay cool and hydrated this summer:

J. Curtis

Summer Blues

So this is my summer report:

I have been home from college for a little over 4 weeks. In that time I found out that I had failed two classes this last semester (therefore I am on academic warning), I am most likely going on a new medication, and have done very little at all. Now this is all rather disturbing to me, and have made me more aware of my mortality in general, and just how flawed one person can be.

My first weekend home was nothing too exciting. Just some lounging around the house, and a bike ride here or there. The following week was the same, and the weekend after that was spent in Rochester recording a music group at RIT. This comprised of me sitting around playing video games, and watch tv. The next week, I went to a cook out at a friends place, met some awesome people, and have kept in touch with a couple of them.

Memorial Day weekend arrived, and my mom went to my grandma's place for the weekend, and I stayed home and went to the Bazaar in my area. I met with my good friend and her boyfriend, enjoyed the time, and tried to just have fun and let what has been bugging me at bay. The next day I went to my grandma's place to spend time there since I hadn't seen her in several months (December-ish  :\).

I ended up going back out to RIT to see my brothers again, and help my oldest brother move to a new apartment. It was a good time, and I spent the following week out there helping arrange the new place, and spending time with my roommate. Now I'm back home, and back to the job hunting, the worrying about bills for college, and the new medication stuff. Sometimes I wish life were simple and care free...

Slowly going mad here : |

J. Curtis

Summer Time

So now it's summer break for me. That means no more classes, and I'm back home until August. Earlier this week, I found out that I am on academic warning due to failing two of my classes for this past semester. Well, not really "failed" so much as semi-passed, but need to retake. Due to this set back, I am most likely going to be in college one semester longer than I had originally planned. Just wonderful...

But now that I'm home, I can relax and try to feel better. Though job hunting is not the greatest way to relax. I've applied at several local area businesses, and to no avail have I been hired. Within 24 hours of applying online, I was rejected with a "Thank you for applying, but as of right now we are looking for more qualified people." I can understand that completely, since I had absolutely no experience working in that line of work.

Yet, the one that gets me to laugh and wonder what has become of this nation/world as a whole:

I was applying at a local pizzeria, and had filled out an application to hand in. So I had walked in, and waited about 2 minutes before a worker was available to help me. I handed my application over, and he looked it over. He asked if I had ever done a service job before, and I replied not really. So then he asked if I have ever done deliveries. Now a little background information, I do not have my drivers license. So I told this to the worker, and he proceeded to ask my age, to which I replied in full. He smirked and replied snidely "You better get on that, then." In my family, I'm required to pay for the insurance once I get my license. When the worker heard this, he replied "Best find a way to get some money."

I don't know about you, but I believe that is rude and unprofessional. I'm looking for a job so that I can get my license. This worker didn't have the common sense to put two and two together, that's just sad.

So I've been home almost 2 weeks. I think it is about time I had one of my game nights with my good friends. The only thing is my basement is a mess. So now it's cleaning time!

Now I shall sign off with one of my favorite quotes;

"What's the point of being grown up, if you can't act childish sometimes?"

J. Curtis

Mayhem!!

So now is the time that I really start to stress and become a "vampire" as it is appropriate. I see very little sun/daylight period, and when I do, it burns... Well not really "burns," but you get the idea. It is now the final stretch of the semester. One week of classes is left and then it is the dreaded finals week. Which means cramming for these monstrous tests. So I am now holed up in my room, catching up on the work I either neglected to do earlier or just need to do to finish the semester off.

So the final count of work (and I will update this in future posts if I find the time):
16 or so labs for one class
1 programming project
1 rough draft/final draft final paper
4 songs to memorize for a jury performance
plus any work I get in my classes that I still have left.

Lots of work, yet nothing I'm too worried about. I've been working quite a bit and getting paid. Dressing classy, and counting the days till I go home for the summer. Hopefully, by the end of the semester I will have my drivers license! Which means my roommate may teach me standard before we leave for the summer.

Keep Calm and Don't Blink

J. Curtis

Nostalgia

I'm sure everyone has those days were they see something that reminds them of their past, and then from that point on, for the rest of the day, it leads to other nostalgic moments... Am I right? Hello? Anyone? No one?

Oh well. So mine started when I saw this one meme cartoon (http://www.lulztruck.com/21916/every-single-time-i-hear-this-song/ -> So very true) and then I just had to listen to the song. After that, I remembered some other songs that I used to listen to, and continued to look them up on youtube.com. These include They might be giants - experimental film, and a couple strong bad email songs (Different town and TROGDOR!). Must watch TROGDOR if you have no clue what it is (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90X5NJleYJQ). Oh the good old days. *sigh* Where one had no care in the world and just had the free time to do whatever one wanted.

Now I watch a fair amount of anime, and one of my favorites is "Fairy Tail." When I first started watching it, I noticed that a few of the characters I had seen in other mangas and anime series. So I looked up the author, and behold, he wrote the "Rave Master" series as well! So he incorporated a few characters, and made references to his other works with names and places.

So again. nostalgia day ahead. Maybe it will be inspiring! Until next we meet:

J. Curtis signing off.

Mental Meltdown...

So as of the last few days, I have been going through a mental meltdown. I cannot focus on any of my work for more than a few minutes, and relaxing is out of the question. If I try to quiet my mind, I just get garbled nonsense from all the different things that are bothering me.

My main concern right now is to finish off the school year (four weeks of classes, then finals) and get home. Yet that is becoming more difficult by the day. This past weekend, I was told by one of my doctors that they wish to put me on an injection or infusion (my choice). This new medication would cut back on my flare ups, and let me live without a constant fear of when one will strike. Sounds great, right? Well it does, until you get to the side effects. The problem with both of these medications is, when combined with what I am already on, based on my gender and age group, fatal infections and strains of cancer have emerged. So why not switch the pills I'm on? I have rejected and had bad reactions to most of what is out there. So granted that these fatal "infections" do not always occur in every patient, but the risk is still very high. So now I await further information on the other injections and infusions available.

The issue with injections, is that I would have to administer them myself, and with my track record, not such a comforting thought. The infusion would be every two months, while the injection is every two weeks (another set back).

So with four weeks of classes left, work is starting to pill up, and I am slowly keeping up. Tests are coming and going, and it is almost time to register for next falls classes. So now I am also being pressured into keeping my grades up, and getting good grades in all my classes. Oh joy! I have toyed with the idea of taking a semester or a year off, and taking a couple classes at my community college, but at the same time, that is not really ethical or economical for me. Yet the thought is still there.

Lastly, my mind has been wandering to thoughts of a special someone. I miss her everyday, but it is something that I have to work through. Though I would like to talk to her everyday, I tend to get too busy to do so, even for a simple "Hey" or "How are you?" I just hope I haven't screwed anything up between us (and that is my greatest fear).

Struggling onward:

J. Curtis

Working Weekend.

As a college student, it is hard to find the perfect balance between relaxing, having a social life, and studying for classes. As such, I have been ahead of my school work, to really far behind on my work, and somewhere in the middle. Right now I would decree myself to be in the middle to behind category. So as of right now, outside of meals and the occasional chat online or text chat, I have no life. My goal is to work on a couple of assignments per class per day, and then pass the rest of the work by getting ahead. Will this ideally happen? We'll soon find out.

Though I will say, I have found some more inspiration for my poems, as of late, and will soon post one. So until then, enjoy this incomplete poem...

I'll give to you
The time I have
But not expect the same

For what you do
And why I love you
Is cute in every way

Worlds apart
From the start
Yet still we play the game...

Until next time:

J. Curtis

Recital!

So this week was spent preparing for a recital that took place on 3/28. I had the great pleasure of singing a fun song titled "Once In Love With Amy." Originally sung by Ray Bolger (who was Scarecrow in Wizard of Oz), and rather playful in the melody. The liberties that can be taken with the piece can make or break it. I sang in front of several of my peers and a few professors, and got great reviews. Some include "you should try out for area plays." and "you are such a character." Now why people said that last one, I have no idea. ; )

But singing is something I thoroughly enjoy, and when I can get into a piece, that's when the magic happens. I made people laugh, and my stage presents filled the room. But enough about my performance, for I still have a great deal to learn, and I know it. The other performers were excellent, and I am jealous of a few. One guy has an amazing range of higher pitches that I want to eventually be able to do. Other's had a great deal of emotion within the number they performed.

Now I'll leave you with this:
I came back to my dorm Sunday night to find it covered in giant clear trash bags blown up with air. So let the prank war begin my friends. It was well done, and rather funny to see. Comment if you have any interesting pranks that would fit a dorm setting.

Have a good week my friends.

J. Curtis

Question of the week:
"If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?"

Hunger Games!

So the movie was pretty good. Not entirely what I expected, but I must say the effects were fantastic! It's amazing what animators can pull off in this day and age on a computer. Now The story in the movie is slightly varied from the books, but for the most part it does stay true to the book. The cuts made to the movie from the book were necessary, otherwise the movie would end up being three hours or more.

I had a great time with my good friend, but I do wish we could have hung out more after the movie. We did get to chat a little before, during, and after the movie, but not enough to completely catch up. Though we still had fun, and I cannot wait till we hang out again. So much to talk about and reminisce about. :)

And may the odds be ever in your favor;

J. Curtis

No Longer a Teen... And Hunger!

So I recently celebrated my 20th this past weekend. Had a nice party with my friends on Friday, and then celebrated with my college friends on Monday. Though I have to say the day of my birthday was the best! Between texting an amazing person and seeing the people I hadn't seen in over a week, to a "Straight No Chaser" concert on WCNY!

Now this weekend is The Hunger Games opening weekend! So excited to see it, and then we get to hang out after and catch up some more. So in order to prepare, I read all three books, and found them very enjoyable. A well balanced mix of tragedy, romance, drama, and troubles of today are apparent to me. Of course we all have our own opinions. To see the adaptation to film will be interesting to say the least.

I unfortunately have not been writing any poetry lately, but that means I'll have to dig into my book for some posts.

Peace for now;

J. Curtis

Outdoors Club VS. CREW Team!

So today was a pretty awesome day. I got to sleep in until 11:30 since I have no classes on Tuesdays, and then I went to work for three hours answering people's questions on different subjects. I got my homework done early, and a good thing too, because I am now sore all over.

So Tuesday nights means water polo! Tonight, it was the Outdoors Club vs. the CREW Club (our rowing team). I played for Outdoors Club, and we only had five players with one possible substitute that we used once or twice. CREW had about eight or nine players and we played five on five. Our substitute also subbed for CREW since she is part of both groups. The game was played to fifteen, and it took us two hours for a team to win, and it was a close game, even with CREW having subs left and right. So I cannot remember most of the details, but it was intense and tons of fun. Of course it's not a game of polo unless I get hit in the head at least once... But five times is pushing it! No serious injury (as far as I know), and I cannot wait to play CREW again. Final score was fifteen to eleven, Outdoor's Club for the win!

CREW Club, I would like to congratulate you on giving us a good healthy work out, and run for our money. Keep up the good work, and better luck next time!

Signing off;

J. Curtis

Crazy Week...

So last weekend, I left to go to an overnight intercollegiate retreat with my fellow Newman Center friends. It was a good time, and I got to see some of the people I met last year at the same time. I made new friends, watched the sunrise from the top of a hill, climbed the wall of a ravine at least 150 feet tall, and stared out over a lake while relaxing in some woods. The one thing about those retreats is I don't sleep more than a couple hours the night I am there...

So in the end, I returned to campus exhausted, and with the beginnings of a cold and a not so fun week. I spent the next day recovering while doing homework and studying for a test I had Monday. Monday shows up, and my cold is in full swing. I go take my test, then return to my room and crash for the rest of the day, only getting up for food and other needs. Tuesday is my work day and I sleep until I have to go in to work. Tutoring is so much fun. :)  So Wednesday morning there was a blackout, and my alarm doesn't get me up in time for my class, and I end up reading "The Hunger Games," which I just finished the other day (It is an awesome book!). So now I cannot wait to read the second. But I miss most of my classes all week due to my cold, and I'm just getting over it. My homework load is terrible, and I barely have any free time, so no more water polo...

So now I'm just relaxing while I break between homework pieces. One of my friends found an amazing youtube violinist, and I so want to learn the music she plays. Not to mention my roommate is kicking me out of the room tonight... Damn sex-isling.

signing off.

J. Curtis

The Poetry of Water Polo

Yesterday was a pain due to the length of the day (up at 6:30 am and classes until 9 pm). 6 classes with only 2 breaks to rest during. Though I survived and had a great day. Chatted with a great friend on the first floor about some problems and events that were going on. Barely used my computer (surprising considering I am a nerd and always on it). Cursed the shortage of staff hands in the dorm for not keeping the front desk open into today, but got to have my mac & cheese!

So it's the second week of the new semester, and even better, it's Tuesday! Which means that the clubs are meeting for the first time this year! So tonight will be full of a few of my favorite activities:

1) Water Polo
2) White Collar
3) Mac & Cheese or pizza!

Water polo is my new favorite sport to play, even though it is slightly dangerous for me as a toothpick of a guy. We play with our own rules in a small 4 lane indoor pool. We are allowed to use the wall as a backboard, and the edge of the pool, when on defense and offense, as a means to get the upper hand. Dunking is permitted only when the person has the ball, and you must let them breathe, but it's so much fun!

So now I got one thing left to do today. A poem from the past O.o

Time goes by
A random sigh
One stands alone
While all have flown

The road will unfold
The air gets cold
One starts an attack
That brings memories back

Friends of old
Begin to fold
They show their hand
As they look for land

The question comes
Of products and sums
What lays ahead
In a life to be led

Time to take control
No matter the toll
And take a chance
Without a second glance

High School Misconceptions.

As a once high school student, I feel obligated to let the younger generation in on a little something;

College is not for everyone, especially for the less mature and drama oriented people. It's not just a place to go to get "away from home" or where you can party every night of the week. It is a place full of choices, easy and tough, that will define you to other people and the world. If you can party and not study that hard and still get good grades, congratulations on that, but if you are going to college just to party, do not expect to be there long.

I understand the anticipation to leave home and "not miss your high school." Believe me I was one of you, all be it to a lesser extent. I won't deny that I miss my high school, and the easier times. But college is no walk in the park. Many times I have wished to have the comfort of teachers I know, and the ability to not have to read anything in order to succeed. Just wait to decide about whether you will miss your school.

When I asked people why they say they "won't miss the high school" the respond with "The drama and all the crap they have to deal with from the teachers and they just want to get out of there." I have one thing to say to that: "That is just one aspect of school, and it follows you to college. Drama? Yes, there is drama in college. B. S. from teachers? Well these are professors, they couldn't care less if you pass or fail. Would they like to see you pass, yes, but only if you show the willingness to try. They get paid if you pass or fail, and instead of it being "Mr," Ms,"  or "Mrs," it's now "Professor" or "Dr." It's just in a bigger setting. Plus you'll miss the friends you made, and you will make new ones, but it takes time."

I spend most of my time running around campus to get to classes and meet with professors and ask questions. The stress has taken it's toll on me several times, and I have failed to meet not just my parents standards, but also my own goals. Yet I see that I am trying my hardest, doing the work and relax at that thought. I went from an A- average in high school to a C+, B- average (scale E-A).

The college classes are fun, but you have to figure out what works for you. I find that a couple classes back to back then a break before a couple more is a good combination. Just don't take your freedom too far and fail out. I have seen parents pull kids because of bad grades, or the college suspending due to poor grades.

If you are reading this, thank you for your time, and best of luck at what you do.

Congratulations on finishing this post! Peace out for now!

College Days!

So I'm finally back in my dorm for the next month or so. That means more supplies, a little more freedom, and time to kill between homework, classes, and tutoring. Swimming is going to become a daily thing that I will attempt to put myself through, and at the same time, I will be able to have a few more stories to share.

As such, before I can post the first poem, more background information on me is needed. For example, I am a gamer, and enjoy games such as "Starcraft," "Portal," and "Halo." One of my favorite things about those games, is it gives me a sense of control and power where I am in command of events. Now "Portal" has a humorous song titled "Still Alive" by Johnathan Coulton (Jo Co for short). Well Jo Co writes his songs on many things, and challenged himself to do "Thing a Week," where he wrote a song a week for an entire year. His newest album is "Artificial Heart," and contains a song that I have enjoyed and been able to associate a few events in my life to. The song is titled "Nobody Loves You Like Me." and is the basis for the poem to follow. It fits with the meter of the song, and is my way to express myself...

So first, the link to the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LR_5yk7bgc

And now...

"Could You be the One for Me?"

Each thought of you
Could never do
To take the place
Of your beautiful face
There's only one
Thing left to be said
Could you be the one for me?

I miss you so much
When we are apart
Is it just me
Or's there more there to see
For when you're away
My life seems so gray
Could you be the one for me?

My heart skips a beat
Each time that we meet
Is it deceived
Or has it received
Some sign from above
Passed down by a dove
No way of ever knowing...

A smile at a glance
No words take the chance
To help describe
How I feel with you
To be by your side
Is all that I need
Could you be the one for me?

Could it just be
Naught but a dream
All in my head
As a book to be read
If only you'd see
What you mean to me
Maybe we'd be together...

Up in the sky
No room for good-bye
There's space to glide
Without any guide
Dreams do come true
For me and for you
Could you be the one for me?

Could you be the one for me?

-J. Curtis

Mind Boggling...

As I sit in the confines of my home, I cannot help but wonder what is happening to me. I suffer from almost daily headaches that I refuse to tell my parents of (my mom is an ex-RN) and try to keep myself busy and my mind from dwelling on it. Yet whenever I go off to bed, my fears surface, and all the thoughts that I suppressed during the day re-awaken to torment me once more.

I have relaxed to the point of boredom, and have tried to sort all this out, but at the same time I have swings in my actions and thoughts that disturb even me. I have noticed that I am more irritable and also have gone into an almost depressed like state that I cannot fully describe with words.

At the same time, I see things differently. I feel slightly freer with more ambition on what I wish I could do. My studies feel less important than usual, but still necessary. I still desire the teaching position, and to have a family, but I'm not as bound by the weight of it.

I have no clue where I was going with that, and I can focus enough to remember. So for now;

Salute and happy days.

Hematology Morphology!

Back for yet another installment. Today I went to the hematologist's office to determine what is going on with my blood. As part of my medication procedure, I am required to get blood drawn every three months. Well, on the last visit to the doctor's I had for my colitis, they were concerned about my fluctuating white blood cell count. So assigning me a hematologist, I went to discover what they had to say. Based on the facts from past blood tests, they could only conclude that it was due to the medications, but just to be sure they order another set of blood tests (this time taking about 500 mL). So now I must wait another week to get the results.

So that was the first part of my day, funny it took place at 4:30 this afternoon. The second and last part of my day is none other than "Doctor Who!" Now I have know about the series from Britain for years now. My dad introduced me to it when Tom Baker was the Doctor. After a while of searching, we found all that we could, and though I was a little kid, I kept searching for new episodes that never were going to exist. Eventually I gave up the search figuring that it was hopeless, until one visit from my brother three years ago when he showed me the revamped "Doctor Who."

The show was amazing, and seemed so much cooler since it was more modern. Since the restart, there have been three new Doctors. Christopher Eccleston, David Tennant, and Matt Smith. Out of the three Tennant is my favorite, with Smith pulling a mild second. This evening I was on the verge of tears as I watched the final episode starring Tennant as the Doctor. His regeneration to Smith was devastating, and required the massive crash to change the look. As I began to regard Smith's characterization of the Doctor, I found a new appreciation for him, but he will never replace my Doctor Tennant.

To sum this up, I will end with a quote that says what all fans of David were thinking and the feelings he spoke of in an interview, "I don't want to go."

Enjoy the time we are given, and bring happiness to others!

Future Plans

So there are a few things that I would like to use this blog for:

1) I will hopefully be adding some poetry to it, once I get some of my supplies back. I left a notebook with all the poems I've written in my dorm.

2) Eventually have an advice corner. Pretty much if anyone has questions or want advice, comment on the blog asking a question, and I will try to answer the best way I can.

3) More information about me and where I'm headed in life.

4) Maybe a few sections of a book that I've been writing on the side...

So a little more information about me. As I have said, I'm 19 and my birthday is in March. I grew up with two older brothers, one is 6 years older and the other is 3. My parents are in their 50s and have been married for the past 26 years. I am a SUNY Oswego student and Roman Catholic. I play the violin and sing as hobbies. My goal is to settle down as a Math teacher and have a family of my own one day, simple but good enough for me. I would like to travel around the world to Europe and Australia.

Well peace for now!

Diseased and Confused?

So today was a rather interesting day. Had a doctor's appointment for a condition I've had since I was in first grade (13-14 years now) that went smoothly. Recently the doctors classified it as crones colitis, and last year I was diagnosed with Barrett's Esophagus. Now for those who don't know;

Crones Colitis is the inflammation of the colon and can cause bleeding if not controlled by medications.

Barrett's Esophagus is the erosion of the esophagus near the stomach lining.

So at today's appointment, we went over the blood work that I am required to have every 3 months. My iron stores levels are up from last time (18 now, 3 before, norm is 22-334) but for some reason (could be the medications) my white blood cell count is fluctuating. So now I'm being referred to a hematologist to help determine what is going on (Oh joy!). That appointment is scheduled for this Wednesday...


So that leads to joint issues due to the medications and disease itself. So even though I'm 19, I have arthritis in both knees (also partly due to soccer as a kid. gosh I miss it!).


Now that doesn't stop me from keeping active. I love to bike and play water polo, as well as recreational sports. Yet it leads to some interesting events, such as concussions. Now most people view concussions as a bad thing (yes they are dangerous), but they have helped me in more ways than I can count. Firstly, I have had three concussions within the past two years. Senior year of high school I got a metal frame floor hockey to my face between my eyes (luckily my nose stayed whole). May 2011, I was going to the high school to get a surprise for my high school choral director (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbRyVtJlvfs&feature=plcp&context=C3a8ec9fUDOEgsToPDskJ9MOu81bIum6h1tfqfVF6C) and crashed my bike into a fence and tree after hitting a pot hole. October 2011, playing water polo, I got an elbow to the crown of my head while defending against the person.

So these concussions have given me insight as to who I am, and some of my truer feelings. It wasn't until I had the third concussion that I realized and could openly admit that I even had feelings for the girl that I went to the mall with yesterday. This surprised me and her when I just came out and said that I had thought of asking her to date. One thing lead to the next, and got us to where we are now. Now concussions for me have left me dazed to the point where I have lost a few weeks, to just giving me symptoms of headaches and nausea. While that gives me the physical symptoms, I have gotten some mental lapses. When talking to my roommate, I have jumped from topic to topic with no connection between the two.

So I guess part of what I have learned is:
1) Concussions, though painful and dangerous, can have their benefits.
2) Not everything is a curse, and true friends will stay by you even when you are crazy.
3) Life is no fun f you cannot enjoy yourself for who you are.

Who needs to be organized? Peace everyone!

Mall Day

So today was a rather good day. Spent time with a great friend, and got to shop a little bit and be impulsive for once this vacation. Granted I'm a bit of an impulsive buyer, I only spent about half of what I would've if I didn't have her there with me.

Anyways, the two of us shared past events and thoughts and ideas about things, and went all nerd to people who saw us, and it was the most fun I had had all week. Granted the mall is not the best place to hang out in a two person group in a small area, but we made do.

So I bought her a calendar about one of her favorite books as a late Birthday and Christmas present, not much but good enough, and continued to look around. Later, we found a store that sold t-shirts from Doctor Who, and I just had to buy one. It says "Keep Calm and Don't Blink." which is part of one of our favorite episodes.

Even though we are so similar and we really want to date, we both agree it's not the best idea at this time. Yet hope remains and good things come to those who wait... right? Well, I'll get back to you on that. I know she may eventually read this, but I don't care. I want her to be happy, not feel guilty, and know that there will always be someone who cares for her and be there when she needs me, because:

"The monster and the doctor. It seems you cannot have one without the other."

Another Day, Another Say

So I figure that the first few posts will give some more insight on who I am. When I'm stressed or down, I do one of two things:

1) Play video games to relax
2) If an idea has been in my head, write out a poem.

Yes I write poems, and I've been told they're good. I'm a classical romantic guy, raised to be a gentleman, in a generation that I believe looks down upon it. Yet I refuse to abandon hope and my up-bringing and integrate into the "system."

Now I'm not really sure if it's just me, or if other people feel the same, but I have a "love-hate" relationship with my parents. Granted no parent and child will be 100% buddies all the time. I know it's something that is worked at like any friendship, but I feel my parents, even though I am 19, are a little overbearing. Yes when I am on vacation from school I live at home, but I'm still on vacation. I don't go home because I want to, I go because I have nowhere else to go. Granted I should be saying this to my parents, but I'm scared to death of them and any reaction they would give me. I once talked with my dad, and it escalated to a shouting match over how he works me as hired hand and ignores my brothers when we are all home.

So yes, I know that it's not proper to be talking about people behind their back, but at the same time I'm not doing it to hurt them or bash on them to discredit them. I'm doing this to blow off steam and not explode on them or anyone else (which I have done). Yet, my parents still want to know where I'm going, who I'll be with, and what time I'll be back, as if I'm still a little kid or a worker. "If you have work for me to do, write it down, hand it to me or tell me where it is, and it will get done." I tell them that, and when they ask for notice on when I go out, I try to work it out so that it fits with what they want done, yet they won't tell me when they have something planned.

I guess this could be my method of getting it out, and to help control my anger some, but enough with that.

Signing off and wishing all enjoyment!

"Life is More Than What Meets the Eye"

So forgive me if I don't immediately state my name, so for now I'll say that my middle name is Curtis. I'm a 19 (almost 20) year old college student living in New York. I'm not as free spirited as I wish I could be, and asking my friends, they'll say I a great person (though sometimes odd) and a little nerdy.

Admittedly, I believe that I am a strange child still, though my maturity can change depending on the crowd and situation. I'm a huge Doctor Who fan (mostly David Tennant) and even have my own Sonic Screwdriver replica. I am insecure about some of the things I do, but I know for a fact that I want to be a High/Middle School Math teacher. Oh be quite about how math is evil, and to those are thinking, "Good for you!" I thank thee. Part of my oddness is from me jumping all over the place (my thoughts are never connected or organized).

So anyway, I'm not going to promise daily or weekly posts, let's face it we are all busy. What I will promise is a look into who I really am, something that I rarely share with anyone, and a piece of me that I generally hide.

Signing off, and hope the year has started well for anyone reading.