Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The Poetry of Water Polo

Yesterday was a pain due to the length of the day (up at 6:30 am and classes until 9 pm). 6 classes with only 2 breaks to rest during. Though I survived and had a great day. Chatted with a great friend on the first floor about some problems and events that were going on. Barely used my computer (surprising considering I am a nerd and always on it). Cursed the shortage of staff hands in the dorm for not keeping the front desk open into today, but got to have my mac & cheese!

So it's the second week of the new semester, and even better, it's Tuesday! Which means that the clubs are meeting for the first time this year! So tonight will be full of a few of my favorite activities:

1) Water Polo
2) White Collar
3) Mac & Cheese or pizza!

Water polo is my new favorite sport to play, even though it is slightly dangerous for me as a toothpick of a guy. We play with our own rules in a small 4 lane indoor pool. We are allowed to use the wall as a backboard, and the edge of the pool, when on defense and offense, as a means to get the upper hand. Dunking is permitted only when the person has the ball, and you must let them breathe, but it's so much fun!

So now I got one thing left to do today. A poem from the past O.o

Time goes by
A random sigh
One stands alone
While all have flown

The road will unfold
The air gets cold
One starts an attack
That brings memories back

Friends of old
Begin to fold
They show their hand
As they look for land

The question comes
Of products and sums
What lays ahead
In a life to be led

Time to take control
No matter the toll
And take a chance
Without a second glance

Thursday, January 26, 2012

High School Misconceptions.

As a once high school student, I feel obligated to let the younger generation in on a little something;

College is not for everyone, especially for the less mature and drama oriented people. It's not just a place to go to get "away from home" or where you can party every night of the week. It is a place full of choices, easy and tough, that will define you to other people and the world. If you can party and not study that hard and still get good grades, congratulations on that, but if you are going to college just to party, do not expect to be there long.

I understand the anticipation to leave home and "not miss your high school." Believe me I was one of you, all be it to a lesser extent. I won't deny that I miss my high school, and the easier times. But college is no walk in the park. Many times I have wished to have the comfort of teachers I know, and the ability to not have to read anything in order to succeed. Just wait to decide about whether you will miss your school.

When I asked people why they say they "won't miss the high school" the respond with "The drama and all the crap they have to deal with from the teachers and they just want to get out of there." I have one thing to say to that: "That is just one aspect of school, and it follows you to college. Drama? Yes, there is drama in college. B. S. from teachers? Well these are professors, they couldn't care less if you pass or fail. Would they like to see you pass, yes, but only if you show the willingness to try. They get paid if you pass or fail, and instead of it being "Mr," Ms,"  or "Mrs," it's now "Professor" or "Dr." It's just in a bigger setting. Plus you'll miss the friends you made, and you will make new ones, but it takes time."

I spend most of my time running around campus to get to classes and meet with professors and ask questions. The stress has taken it's toll on me several times, and I have failed to meet not just my parents standards, but also my own goals. Yet I see that I am trying my hardest, doing the work and relax at that thought. I went from an A- average in high school to a C+, B- average (scale E-A).

The college classes are fun, but you have to figure out what works for you. I find that a couple classes back to back then a break before a couple more is a good combination. Just don't take your freedom too far and fail out. I have seen parents pull kids because of bad grades, or the college suspending due to poor grades.

If you are reading this, thank you for your time, and best of luck at what you do.

Congratulations on finishing this post! Peace out for now!

Monday, January 23, 2012

College Days!

So I'm finally back in my dorm for the next month or so. That means more supplies, a little more freedom, and time to kill between homework, classes, and tutoring. Swimming is going to become a daily thing that I will attempt to put myself through, and at the same time, I will be able to have a few more stories to share.

As such, before I can post the first poem, more background information on me is needed. For example, I am a gamer, and enjoy games such as "Starcraft," "Portal," and "Halo." One of my favorite things about those games, is it gives me a sense of control and power where I am in command of events. Now "Portal" has a humorous song titled "Still Alive" by Johnathan Coulton (Jo Co for short). Well Jo Co writes his songs on many things, and challenged himself to do "Thing a Week," where he wrote a song a week for an entire year. His newest album is "Artificial Heart," and contains a song that I have enjoyed and been able to associate a few events in my life to. The song is titled "Nobody Loves You Like Me." and is the basis for the poem to follow. It fits with the meter of the song, and is my way to express myself...

So first, the link to the song:

And now...

"Could You be the One for Me?"

Each thought of you
Could never do
To take the place
Of your beautiful face
There's only one
Thing left to be said
Could you be the one for me?

I miss you so much
When we are apart
Is it just me
Or's there more there to see
For when you're away
My life seems so gray
Could you be the one for me?

My heart skips a beat
Each time that we meet
Is it deceived
Or has it received
Some sign from above
Passed down by a dove
No way of ever knowing...

A smile at a glance
No words take the chance
To help describe
How I feel with you
To be by your side
Is all that I need
Could you be the one for me?

Could it just be
Naught but a dream
All in my head
As a book to be read
If only you'd see
What you mean to me
Maybe we'd be together...

Up in the sky
No room for good-bye
There's space to glide
Without any guide
Dreams do come true
For me and for you
Could you be the one for me?

Could you be the one for me?

-J. Curtis

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Mind Boggling...

As I sit in the confines of my home, I cannot help but wonder what is happening to me. I suffer from almost daily headaches that I refuse to tell my parents of (my mom is an ex-RN) and try to keep myself busy and my mind from dwelling on it. Yet whenever I go off to bed, my fears surface, and all the thoughts that I suppressed during the day re-awaken to torment me once more.

I have relaxed to the point of boredom, and have tried to sort all this out, but at the same time I have swings in my actions and thoughts that disturb even me. I have noticed that I am more irritable and also have gone into an almost depressed like state that I cannot fully describe with words.

At the same time, I see things differently. I feel slightly freer with more ambition on what I wish I could do. My studies feel less important than usual, but still necessary. I still desire the teaching position, and to have a family, but I'm not as bound by the weight of it.

I have no clue where I was going with that, and I can focus enough to remember. So for now;

Salute and happy days.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Hematology Morphology!

Back for yet another installment. Today I went to the hematologist's office to determine what is going on with my blood. As part of my medication procedure, I am required to get blood drawn every three months. Well, on the last visit to the doctor's I had for my colitis, they were concerned about my fluctuating white blood cell count. So assigning me a hematologist, I went to discover what they had to say. Based on the facts from past blood tests, they could only conclude that it was due to the medications, but just to be sure they order another set of blood tests (this time taking about 500 mL). So now I must wait another week to get the results.

So that was the first part of my day, funny it took place at 4:30 this afternoon. The second and last part of my day is none other than "Doctor Who!" Now I have know about the series from Britain for years now. My dad introduced me to it when Tom Baker was the Doctor. After a while of searching, we found all that we could, and though I was a little kid, I kept searching for new episodes that never were going to exist. Eventually I gave up the search figuring that it was hopeless, until one visit from my brother three years ago when he showed me the revamped "Doctor Who."

The show was amazing, and seemed so much cooler since it was more modern. Since the restart, there have been three new Doctors. Christopher Eccleston, David Tennant, and Matt Smith. Out of the three Tennant is my favorite, with Smith pulling a mild second. This evening I was on the verge of tears as I watched the final episode starring Tennant as the Doctor. His regeneration to Smith was devastating, and required the massive crash to change the look. As I began to regard Smith's characterization of the Doctor, I found a new appreciation for him, but he will never replace my Doctor Tennant.

To sum this up, I will end with a quote that says what all fans of David were thinking and the feelings he spoke of in an interview, "I don't want to go."

Enjoy the time we are given, and bring happiness to others!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Future Plans

So there are a few things that I would like to use this blog for:

1) I will hopefully be adding some poetry to it, once I get some of my supplies back. I left a notebook with all the poems I've written in my dorm.

2) Eventually have an advice corner. Pretty much if anyone has questions or want advice, comment on the blog asking a question, and I will try to answer the best way I can.

3) More information about me and where I'm headed in life.

4) Maybe a few sections of a book that I've been writing on the side...

So a little more information about me. As I have said, I'm 19 and my birthday is in March. I grew up with two older brothers, one is 6 years older and the other is 3. My parents are in their 50s and have been married for the past 26 years. I am a SUNY Oswego student and Roman Catholic. I play the violin and sing as hobbies. My goal is to settle down as a Math teacher and have a family of my own one day, simple but good enough for me. I would like to travel around the world to Europe and Australia.

Well peace for now!

Monday, January 9, 2012

Diseased and Confused?

So today was a rather interesting day. Had a doctor's appointment for a condition I've had since I was in first grade (13-14 years now) that went smoothly. Recently the doctors classified it as crones colitis, and last year I was diagnosed with Barrett's Esophagus. Now for those who don't know;

Crones Colitis is the inflammation of the colon and can cause bleeding if not controlled by medications.

Barrett's Esophagus is the erosion of the esophagus near the stomach lining.

So at today's appointment, we went over the blood work that I am required to have every 3 months. My iron stores levels are up from last time (18 now, 3 before, norm is 22-334) but for some reason (could be the medications) my white blood cell count is fluctuating. So now I'm being referred to hematologist to help determine what is going on (Oh joy!). That appointment is scheduled for this Wednesday...

So that leads to joint issues due to the medications and disease itself. So even though I'm 19, I have arthritis in both knees (also partly due to soccer as a kid. gosh I miss it!).

Now that doesn't stop me from keeping active. I love to bike and play water polo, as well as recreational sports. Yet it leads to some interesting events, such as concussions. Now most people view concussions as a bad thing (yes they are dangerous), but they have helped me in more ways than I can count. Firstly, I have had three concussions within the past two years. Senior year of high school I got a metal frame floor hockey to my face between my eyes (luckily my nose stayed whole). May 2011, I was going to the high school to get a surprise for my high school choral director (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbRyVtJlvfs&feature=plcp&context=C3a8ec9fUDOEgsToPDskJ9MOu81bIum6h1tfqfVF6C) and crashed my bike into a fence and tree after hitting a pot hole. October 2011, playing water polo, I got an elbow to the crown of my head while defending against the person.

So these concussions have given me insight as to who I am, and some of my truer feelings. It wasn't until I had the third concussion that I realized and could openly admit that I even had feelings for the girl that I went to the mall with yesterday. This surprised me and her when I just came out and said that I had thought of asking her to date. One thing lead to the next, and got us to where we are now. Now concussions for me have left me dazed to the point where I have lost a few weeks, to just giving me symptoms of headaches and nausea. While that gives me the physical symptoms, I have gotten some mental lapses. When talking to my roommate, I have jumped from topic to topic with no connection between the two.

So I guess part of what I have learned is:
1) Concussions, though painful and dangerous, can have their benefits.
2) Not everything is a curse, and true friends will stay by you even when you are crazy.
3) Life is no fun f you cannot enjoy yourself for who you are.

Who needs to be organized? Peace everyone!

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Mall Day

So today was a rather good day. Spent time with a great friend, and got to shop a little bit and be impulsive for once this vacation. Granted I'm a bit of an impulsive buyer, I only spent about half of what I would've if I didn't have her there with me.

Anyways, the two of us shared past events and thoughts and ideas about things, and went all nerd to people who saw us, and it was the most fun I had had all week. Granted the mall is not the best place to hang out in a two person group in a small area, but we made do.

So I bought her a calendar about one of her favorite books as a late Birthday and Christmas present, not much but good enough, and continued to look around. Later, we found a store that sold t-shirts from Doctor Who, and I just had to buy one. It says "Keep Calm and Don't Blink." which is part of one of our favorite episodes.

Even though we are so similar and we really want to date, we both agree it's not the best idea at this time. Yet hope remains and good things come to those who wait... right? Well, I'll get back to you on that. I know she may eventually read this, but I don't care. I want her to be happy, not feel guilty, and know that there will always be someone who cares for her and be there when she needs me, because:

"The monster and the doctor. It seems you cannot have one without the other."

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Another Day, Another Say

So I figure that the first few posts will give some more insight on who I am. When I'm stressed or down, I do one of two things:

1) Play video games to relax
2) If an idea has been in my head, write out a poem.

Yes I write poems, and I've been told they're good. I'm a classical romantic guy, raised to be a gentleman, in a generation that I believe looks down upon it. Yet I refuse to abandon hope and my up-bringing and integrate into the "system."

Now I'm not really sure if it's just me, or if other people feel the same, but I have a "love-hate" relationship with my parents. Granted no parent and child will be 100% buddies all the time. I know it's something that is worked at like any friendship, but I feel my parents, even though I am 19, are a little overbearing. Yes when I am on vacation from school I live at home, but I'm still on vacation. I don't go home because I want to, I go because I have nowhere else to go. Granted I should be saying this to my parents, but I'm scared to death of them and any reaction they would give me. I once talked with my dad, and it escalated to a shouting match over how he works me as hired hand and ignores my brothers when we are all home.

So yes, I know that it's not proper to be talking about people behind their back, but at the same time I'm not doing it to hurt them or bash on them to discredit them. I'm doing this to blow off steam and not explode on them or anyone else (which I have done). Yet, my parents still want to know where I'm going, who I'll be with, and what time I'll be back, as if I'm still a little kid or a worker. "If you have work for me to do, write it down, hand it to me or tell me where it is, and it will get done." I tell them that, and when they ask for notice on when I go out, I try to work it out so that it fits with what they want done, yet they won't tell me when they have something planned.

I guess this could be my method of getting it out, and to help control my anger some, but enough with that.

Signing off and wishing all enjoyment!

Friday, January 6, 2012

"Life is More Than What Meets the Eye"

So forgive me if I don't immediately state my name, so for now I'll say that my middle name is Curtis. I'm a 19 (almost 20) year old college student living in New York. I'm not as free spirited as I wish I could be, and asking my friends, they'll say I a great person (though sometimes odd) and a little nerdy.

Admittedly, I believe that I am a strange child still, though my maturity can change depending on the crowd and situation. I'm a huge Doctor Who fan (mostly David Tennant) and even have my own Sonic Screwdriver replica. I am insecure about some of the things I do, but I know for a fact that I want to be a High/Middle School Math teacher. Oh be quite about how math is evil, and to those are thinking, "Good for you!" I thank thee. Part of my oddness is from me jumping all over the place (my thoughts are never connected or organized).

So anyway, I'm not going to promise daily or weekly posts, let's face it we are all busy. What I will promise is a look into who I really am, something that I rarely share with anyone, and a piece of me that I generally hide.

Signing off, and hope the year has started well for anyone reading.