As I sit in the confines of my home, I cannot help but wonder what is happening to me. I suffer from almost daily headaches that I refuse to tell my parents of (my mom is an ex-RN) and try to keep myself busy and my mind from dwelling on it. Yet whenever I go off to bed, my fears surface, and all the thoughts that I suppressed during the day re-awaken to torment me once more.
I have relaxed to the point of boredom, and have tried to sort all this out, but at the same time I have swings in my actions and thoughts that disturb even me. I have noticed that I am more irritable and also have gone into an almost depressed like state that I cannot fully describe with words.
At the same time, I see things differently. I feel slightly freer with more ambition on what I wish I could do. My studies feel less important than usual, but still necessary. I still desire the teaching position, and to have a family, but I'm not as bound by the weight of it.
I have no clue where I was going with that, and I can focus enough to remember. So for now;
Salute and happy days.